Scorpion stings and snake bites

Chances are, you have come across CNN-IBN Cobrapost investigation reports. They started out innocuously enough, by running an investigation that showed how easy it is to smuggle arms into Bombay using small boats.

I read those reports with mild curiosity. Recently they ran a huge expose involving Hindu Godmen who are supposedly on the take for converting black money. There were even tape recorded conversations on their website. A few days later, they ran another investigation on NGOs. This report is now nowhere to be found from their main website. Not only that, there seemed to have been no follow up on the expose on the Godmen. A review of the NGO Report explains why the sudden lack of enthusiasm in following up the Godman expose. Surely the secularists would be more than happy to expose Hindu Godmen?

In any case, I investigated Cobrapost and guess what I found? Cobrapost is merely a bastard child of Tehelka.

I won't hazard a guess as to whether Cobrapost was launched because of an internal dispute or is it merely a smoke and mirrors tactic to make us believe that they are really non-partisan. About their first report, well, it's not that innocent. The terrorists who plotted the whole attack are not really to be blamed - incompetent and corrupt Hindu officials were really responsible for the Bombay bombings.

How strong is the Rahul Gandhi brand?

[Update] If you are a Bombay based blogger, Melody would like to invite you to a blog party.

Perhaps this question is haunting the socialists more than anything else these days. Here is a cute pic for your viewing pleasure, from the website of a young Christian woman called Melody. She fantasizes herself to be wedded into the Gandhi dynasty.

Sikhs punished for abandoning Congress

May 23. In the recent assembly elections in the State of Punjab, India, the Congress party (which also leads the central Government of the country with a motley coalition of parties with various nefarious agendas) got a jolt when the electorate chose to elect BJP ally Akali Dal.

Senior Congress leaders were mighty upset at this defeat. This was merely one in a series of assembly level electoral upsets for the party.

However, senior party stategists were quick to react. They capitalized on the recent controversy over freedom of art and attacked the Sikhs, a religious minority in India (also the ethnic majority in the state of Punjab). Realizing that Sikhs as a potential vote bank are perhaps lost for the near future, they strongly condemned an internal religious dispute within the Sikh community. Eminent journalist and ardent Congress supporter Dilip D'Souza called for strict legal actions against a top religious leader (jathedar).

Our analysts say that this is a move to fine tune the vote bank. Sometimes the carrot alone does not work, one needs to wield the stick also. Mr. D'Souza did not return our calls when requested to comment on a few other incidents of religious intolerance in the country in the recent past.

Our local correspondent added: could we say the hand is mightier than the sword?

- Staff Reporter

Ramkinkar

An artist from truly humble backgrounds, Ramkinkar Baij often drew his inspirations from the Santhal tribal folks.

Blind spots

Hallelujah! Yet another pithy editorial post from the Head Stinger.

Mr. Tejpal's peripheral vision is now so weak that he can barely see anything even slightly off to the side. We recommend a visit to the oculist.

So, let's take a deeper look at his latest column. He has lost none of his journalistic flair, although while covering an art related incident, he appears to have been afflicted by the same sort of liberties that artists and poets are known to take from time to time.


For instance this paragraph:

In Vadodara, in one of the finest art schools in India, a gifted boy (1) from humble origins (2) has been humiliated and arraigned for artistic expression that would not raise an antagonistic eyebrow (3) in most of (4) the world’s liberal (5) democracies.

Contrast this with the following description from a TOI article:

Who is Chandramohan Srilamantula? Is he such a famous artist that the entire art community is staging protests against his arrest? Actually, Chandramohan is only 23 and still a student, and it is his project work that’s made an impact far beyond his wildest imagination.

To summarize our analysis of just that one paragraph:

1. Presumptuous. He is a student, no one said anything about him being gifted. Unless Tehelka Art Foundation gives him a scholarship, he will likely drop out and join a BPO.
   
2. Sounds suspiciously like an attempt to give an inclusive growth type angle to it. Also, his humble origins remain unverified. Humble compared to who, Dilip D'Souza?
   
3. Too far fetched. There are potentially 12 billion eyebrows in the world.
4. A count would definitely help. Let's see: US, UK, France, Denmark, ... wait!
5. A new word imported by none other than our typist friend. Blogosphere buzz indicates this is going to stick. I guess the secular catch phrase is going out of style.
   

Moving on from here:

As for India, it is full of idle troublemakers. It’s the State’s job to tell them where to draw the line.

The first part of the above sentence definitely has a grain of truth in it, the so called liberal democracies where eyebrows are not raised tend to be rich nations. But look how he queers his own pitch in the very next sentence. Perhaps the Stinger does not realize that it is the very state that arrested Chandramohan. The same state that banned Rushdie, the same state that sued Khushboo and the same state that has an arrest warrant out against M.F. Hussain and the Dera chief. Let's not even talk about how a TV channel got banned because it was considering airing an obscene show during daytime.

We are not a theocracy, a dictatorship, or an autocracy. We were born out of the pyre of colonialism as a liberal democracy, and we have to bear its pride and price.

Whatever definition floats your boat dude. As far as we are concerned, India became a theocracy the day it adopted differential civil code. It's fate was sealed with the Shah Bano judgement. Also, do we really want split hairs about autocracy? Any comments on the latest cabinet restructuring?

Artistic endeavour, free expression, the pushing of boundaries are all unique attributes of a free society. The dominance of the West - science, tech, medicine - has often ensued from the creative energies that are sparked in a free environment.

Actually free is perhaps a necessary condition but not a sufficient one. Empty stomach can create We shall overcome, just about that. If you want to spark true creativity, nothing works better than the sound of a loudly ringing cash register. Sad but true, it's human nature and artists are humans too.

But what is it about Gujarat that allows these intolerances to flourish? Why has a community long known for its gentle, pacifist ways - with or without Mohandas - become so violent? Why has a community known for its mercantile skills become so rabidly religious?

Like we said, a visit to the oculist will clear this confusion. Alternately you can read the previous post (and the comments) of this humble blogger.

Actually, we are worried about the future of our democratic republic too. If all our intellectuals remain obsessed with Modi and Gujarat and electioneering, what will happen to the promise of India? Will our 200 million destitute and 500 million under $2 a day citizens forever languish in the blind spot of our myopic leaders and opinion makers?

Want to protect freedom of expression?

Apprently a lot of people are in great agony about the art school incident in Gujarat and the alleged lack of freedom of art. It is feared that India is regressing back to the dark ages. I think we can all agree that to be able to take corrective measures we need to collect data first. So, why don't we start?

I have prepared a sample table, let's call this the "incident report". As you can see, it is easy to keep records. I wrote this from memory so please no flames for not remembering a lot of these incidents. We should also include media harassment and censorship cases.

So, those of you concerned about media freedom, let's see some action. Email me(*) with incidents from now on that you think should go in the spreadsheet and I will keep it updated. Will take you only a little time. For controversial items, I will collect opinions from the blogosphere.

Wonder if we can add the TV show bans in here too. Opinions welcome.


(*) Just kidding.

Astounding profundity for such a young man

Shivam Vij May 12th, 2007 at 1:25 pm

Kanch is indeed OBC but is also Dalit in a political sense to the extent that he talks of 'Dalitisation of society'. of OBCs following Dalits in the AMbedkarite path. He has been described, therefore, as a "Dalit-Bhaujan scholar". I implied that he is Dalit, at the very least, in the sense that the media does.

This post from our socialist friend explains why Dalits are screwed. Their leadership is completely hijacked by fake Dalits like Kancha Ilaiah, Dalit Freedom Network (and its various Christian sister organizations), Udit Raj, Meira Kumar (the latter two from very privileged backgrounds and married to upper caste spouses). Meanwhile bonafide Dalits such as Chandrabhan Prasad are marginalized (relegated from most favored Dalit intellectual to just another Dalit journalist status).

Note that even in the short post he spells "Ilaiah" wrong. Strange for such a stickler for facts.

Recruitment Scam

The Anti- Corruption Bureau (ACB) on Sunday arrested former a local Congress MP and an MLA along with 10 others for their alleged involvement in the irregularities in the recruitment to Aurangabad District Central Co-operative Bank (ADCCB) and Zilla Dekhrekh Sahkari Sanstha (ZDSS).



Gives you a warm fuzzy feeling about how well the NREG scam might be working.

Moral Hazard: A classic example if there was ever one

Tehelka: Sponsored By Government of India

Tehelka Critical Futures

This is how taxpayers are subsidizing a political campaign. The various Tehelka ventures get monies from Government agencies such as Air India. They enjoy patronage of Union Ministers to push a particular agenda.

Tehelka Education Summit: Chief Guest - Shri Arjun Singh

Their modus operandi is pretty much the same as The Other Idiot bloggers. First they launched one site. Now those bloggers are operating as many as 15 different group blogs and sites. They lure other bloggers with promises of media assignments etc.

Here, the relationships are more complex. Money is siphoned off through various NGOs. I guess they can afford to drop the facade now since Government owned companies like The Air India are openly supporting their cause.

Hmmm, Foreign Hand

Andhra Pradesh Chief Minister Y S R Reddy suspects a "foreign hand" for the blast at Hyderabad’s Mecca Masjid mosque on Friday.

"As the things stand today, the finger of suspicion is towards a foreign hand," said Reddy in Hyderabad. He announced that 11 people died in the blast and five were killed in police firing later.

Foreign hand? Is that a good thing or bad thing? Refresh my memory please. I thought Governments claim "foreign hand" when they are war mongers and inefficient administrators. So that they can wage meaningless wars and buy weaponry and pocket the commission.

Our Union Home Minister is not so sure:

"We should not keep blaming... we cannot say anything unless final conclusion is given," Union Home Minister Shivraj Patil said when asked whether the government suspected involvement of any foreign agency in the explosion.

Declining to name the suspects in the terror attack, he said, "We should not jump to conclusions. We do have some information but premature disclosure does not help in investigation."

This prudence is seldom exercised when UPA leaders and Tehelka journalists prematurely ejaculate Modi's hand behind almost anything that happens. Perhaps the "hand" in this case belonged to inconvenient domestic elements? Too fantastic? Can we have a full CBI inquiry please?

Meanwhile:

UPA Ratings take a dip

Strange!

[UPDATE] Access to the relevant sites has been restored. Perhaps it was just a routine site maintenance after all.

I ran an expose on the Tehelka cult a few days ago. Till last night there were no issues, but since this morning, the entire Tehelka Foundation and Tehelka Critical Futures sites have become password protected. You must have noticed the authorization box that gets thrown up when you read this blog. That is because some images were linked directly from those sites.

The same thing happened long ago when I ran a few articles about The Other Idiots. They reorged their site in such a way that the links in my posts became invalid.


This looks highly suspicious, these links are on their home page and rather conscpicuously displayed. Why would they want to link password protected sites from prominent places on their home page?

Any tips, info, images, ways to retrieve stuff from the above sites is most welcome.

So, you wanna feel good?

May 18. Did you have an exhausting week? Do you have a regular day job where you collude with capitalists to increase the divide between the rich and the poor? Do you feel tired and exhausted? Unsure what to do?

Well, despair no more. India's most famous typist has shown a surefire way to make you feel real good about yourself.

"I was quite uninterested in labels", says Dilip D'Souza. "But I knew the power of labels, I always knew."

The all pervasive internet is starting to affect our lives in so many new ways that it no longer surprises us. In the old days it used to take a lot of work and effort to build an image. For instance, to be called honest, you needed to really prove you were honest. Well, not anymore. With this powerful new labeling technology you can print out labels of your choice. What you do with your labels is up to you. You can use it as a decal on your car windshield.

"Some people just crumple the printouts and shove it up their arses," said a grinning Dilip D'Souza, "that feels good too." He didn't respond when our correspondent asked him if he used labels that way.

Labels are as ephemeral as fashion, we learned from Dilip. Labels like honest, hardworking, intelligent etc. no longer work. Derivative labels fly off the shelves like there is no tomorrow. The trend is towards fuzzy, definitely fuzzy.

We asked him what he chose for himself. "Liberal of course," he said, "it is so cool, it can mean almost anything but the dictionary throws up some good stuff about it. For instance open to new ideas, now, that sounds cool man, that's gotta be a good thing."

"So, are you open to new ideas? Like a new Government perhaps?" Dilip got really angry and upset at this question. Needless to say our correspondent had to hastily conclude the interview.

- Staff Reporter

---

DCubed Personal LabelMaker^TM is available by mail order. For a limited time only a free subscription of Tehelka Magazine will be included. To get a special discount, tell them Barbarindian sent you.

For a heartwarming story on the genesis of this great new revolutionary idea, read the man himself on his blog, here.

Art?

This is art:


This is NOT. (WARNING! graphic picture highly insensitive to our Christian brothers)

This is a good poem:

smara-garala-khaNDanaM mama shirasi maNDanaM
dehi pada-pallavam udAram |
jvalati mayi dAruNo madana-kadanAruNo
haratu tad-upAhita-vikAram ||8||

This is NOT.

A large cross depicting Christ with his penis hanging out, semen dripping from it into a commode.

A nude woman with a baby attempting to push its way out of her vagina. The caption below the painting reads: "Durga Mata".

These were two of the "works of art" made by Chandra Mohan, a student of the Faculty of Fine Arts, Maharaja Sayajirao University, Baroda, who was arrested this past week on charges of hurting religious sentiments and posing a threat to public order.

So, let's see how much artistic freedom is restricted in India.

What you can draw:

Trees, meadows, official portraits of political leaders, Shah Rukh Khan, Kimi Katkar, Hindu religious figures in their accepted representation, Mary and Jesus, Sikh Gurus withing certain limitations, birds, bees, nudes, flowers, houses, villages, clouds, cities, coal mines, wild animals, cartoons of Hindutva fascists etc.

What you CAN NOT draw:

Any nude or otherwise insulting representation of established Gods and Gurus, any representation of Prophet Mohammed (PBUH), caricatures or insulting pictures of any Congress or DMK politicians, cartoons of Dr. Ambedkar, graphic scenes of rape and violence, gross pictures of defecation or other such bodily activities etc.

This more or less conforms to our legal provisions per Government of India Act. Don't like the act? Please write to your local MP or MLA and he/she will take up the issue in the next parliament session.

Orwell still rings true

Read more here, from the cheap dispensers of "truth".

Karunanidhi's new game?

What new game is Karunanidhi up to?

Why "The Hindu" should be banned

Thought experiment time again. Suppose I start a magazine in India called The Muslim. I also recruit VHP and RSS volunteers to write articles in it, many of them full of glowing praises of Advani and Modi or full of innuendoes about "evils" of Islam.

What do you think will be a possible outcome? Will the liberal brigade come to my rescue when the sword comes down on my head?

Anyway.

As a Hindu, I find the Hindu newspaper highly offensive. You can't just go ahead and trademark the name of a religion (or for that matter generic stuff). Suppose I trademark "Mohammed" or "Guru Govind Singh"? How about a magazine called "Gay Christ"? Besides, this newspaper is run by non-Hindus (atheists, they call themselves).

Of course I will do no such thing, being sensitive to other people's religious beliefs. Then why is this sham being allowed to continue? Does Tamil Nadu consider itself part of the union?

Take for example this article:

Hardly a month after the elections, P. Jaggaiyan, a poor agricultural worker who belonged to the Arunthathiyar sub-sect of Dalits and was the president of Nakkalamuthanpatti village panchayat in Tirunelveli district, was done to death for the simple reason that he refused to oblige his own deputy, the "upper-caste" vice-president, by being the president "only on paper".

Then in small print:

... who included many elders from the predominant caste Hindu community of Vanniyars, were of no avail.

It may be noted that the Vanniyars are one of the dominant OBC castes in TN and the main support base behind our illustrious Hon'ble Minister of Health and Family Welfare, Shri Ramadoss. They want reservations.

I think The Hindu is involved in a systematic conspiracy to malign the good Hindus in India who want to live in peace and harmony with others. Moreover, they are in violation of trademark laws (as understood by our lawmakers with overwhelming consensus) by default. As far as I am concerned they could use any other name, Chinna Veedu, for instance.

Hope the concerned authorities take up this issue as soon as possible.

Give him a Pulitzer already!

Here is a hypotheses: encounter killings happen because of societal imbalances. True or false?

Well, India's most well known typist certainly thinks there is a connection. I thought encounter killings happen because of Modi.

Someone alleged (maliciously I am sure) that Dilip only writes about Gujarat. I was not so sure. Sifting through a huge blog is not my idea of a nice Sunday morning. So, our friendly Googleguys come to the rescue.

I searched on posts containing the word "Gujarat".
I searched on posts NOT containing the word "Gujarat".

The results are summarized in the above chart. Slice of pepperoni anyone?

RIP 3

This morning I was casually browsing the various socialist blogs. I clicked on ShivamVij.com, and voila! Is that a Mother's Day message?

LOL!

More.